What is it about my birthday that makes me so depressed. I guess every-time I approach this milestone I reflect on the last year and this last year was really much a pain.
THE BAD
1. My Fiancee dumped me and is leaving the state.
“I would be forever saddened without you”
“I know we can work out our problems”
“We are so lucky we found true love”
Sweet lies she once uttered that I believed with all my heart.
2. I Lost all my savings.
$8500 Dollars gone all to create stability so I can survive.
3. Still In Debt $10,000
My Truck and Credit Cards
4. Evacuated San Diego County
The firestorms in October.
5. Moved Twice in the last 6 months.
Moved out from the home I shared with my Ex.
Then moved again to find a home that allowed my cats.
6. Depression
Depressed over being dumped I began to starve myself.
7. Surgery
Had my gallbladder removed, because of gallstones.
A consequences of starving myself.
6 months ago
Sigh. Going to be 26… So much not accomplished. So much in the last year laid to waste. Much has changed for me since becoming 25. Most notable event was my Fiancee leaving. Someone once stated it is amazing how powerful words can be, they can either lift you up or destroy you. For a brief time I let her words and her actions destroy me. Not only did I loose the 5 years I built with her but I put myself on course to waste another couple months of my life drowning in self pity. I became so disgusted with myself. I took on all the blame and began to punish myself. So I starved my self for over a month. My diet consisted of an apple for breakfast and water the rest of the day. I dropped 60 lbs in less than 2 months and the scary thing was it began to feel normal like I didn’t need to eat anymore. Gradually I began to eat again, but still no where the amount I should. Then on Christmas day I suffered severe abdominal pains and went to the ER. Apparently my starving myself and loosing so much weight quickly had serious consequences. I now had gallstones and since have had my gallbladder removed. Life can be so unpredictable and we really cannot begin to imagine what life’s events can lead us to. Now I am approaching 26 what else does life have in store for me?
7 months ago
